Dear Bob,
How the mighty have fallen! First we and then Oklahoma! What's the world coming to? I suppose the nodamners were very happy to have pulled the upset of the year. There was black crepe paper hanging everywhere on our campus that weekend. Maybe next year.
In your last letter you mentioned the song "Peggy Sue", is that the one that goes:
"Peggy Sue
I'd like to conjugate with you"?
Your last letter was very entertaining. I noticed the cardboard cylinder containing it only when I was on my way to my sociology hour exam, and, not realizing its length, I started reading it.
I was five minutes late for the exam.
Speaking of being late for exams, I pulled a real boner last week for my economics exam; I thought it was to start at 7:30 when it really began at 7. I walked in at 7:25, and my prof rushed up to me with a sick(ening?) look on his face and asked me what had happened. Taken
askance, I asked him what the hell right he had to start the exam without me. He quickly apologized, and at the same time he offered to give me some extra time; but not to obligate myself to him I refused and finished the exam in thirty-five minutes. I'm dying to see my mark!
Speaking of death and related topics, I would suggest that you desist from rolling up your
voluminous letters until they resemble a cigarette unless you are o the opinion that your
unexpected death would result in your joining the heavenly choirs as a scroll-roller.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been so influenced by the School of Economics that you think nothing of defacing the very premises in which you live. Such is the corrosive power of greed.
Last Monday night was Hell Night at my fraternity. By virtue of my having endured that evening, I am now in a position to assume the full responsibilities and privileges of a brother next week at our initiation.
We were forced to do different things on Hell Night - - mostly things of a degrading nature. We (twenty-two of us pledges) had to sit in a very small room (its name will give you some indication of its size; it's called the Maidenhead.) and smoke cheap cigars for about twenty minutes.
We then had to disrobe down to our shorts and had to crawl on our hands and knees all through the house while the sadistic brothers used paddles to prod us along. We had to crawl on our hands and knees up two flights of stairs, and then we had to swallow a couple of pills which were supposed to make us piss green for two days. Evidently I didn't take enough pills for I have noticed no unusual reactions. My eyeballs turned green, but that's a usual reaction at this time of year - - the Christmas season.
We then had to crawl down into the basement and there received more abuses, e.g. voice standing in back of bright light . "Do you love the brothers?" Feather-covered pledge sitting on cake of ice while someone pours cold water down his back: "No, No, No!" Voice, etc. "You ungrateful son-of-a bitch!" followed quickly by cold and hot water alternately. Voice etc. reiterates question. Feather-covered etc: "Yes, Yes, Yes!!" voice etc: "Hey guys look, we've got a fairy in the house!!"
Returning once more to civilization, I spent Thanksgiving vacation in a Cistercian monastery in
Spencer, Mass. I have not, am not, and will not consider becoming a monk. The monastery was nice to take a tour through, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I should get home for Christmas on the 15th and will be looking forward to seeing you soon thereafter.
Tom
P.S. I have enclosed an article from "Ivy Magazine" thinking you might like to be the Frisbee organizer on your campus.
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