Sept. 25, 1957

Dear Thom,

Your account of rushing at ole Dartmouth was both interesting and entertaining  (ach
redundant).  I haven't told G or anyone else about your experiences for I am afraid that
they might riot, especially G.  You know how emotional he gets over alcoholic subjects.

I am Sandwich Commissioner of Howard Hall!!!!!!!!!!?  This dubious title means that I am
in charge of selling sandwiches and milk every night in our hall.  Out of every dollar I take in
60 cents goes to pay for the sandwiches & milk, 20 cents goes into the hall treasury,
and 20 cents goes to me.  After I pay my assistant I should make a personal profit of at
least $10 a week.  I am on my way to becoming a Captain of Industry.

I still haven't got a grappling hook, but one of these nights I'm going to scale that roof, with
or without proper equipment.

My fish tanks arrived today via Railroad Express (102 lbs..........$4.69).  I didn't think they
weighed that much.

I strongly object to your inference that rock and Roll music is not a true form of music.  I hold
that it is a very basic form of music..  It may well (might well, well might?) be a very crude and
primitive form of music, but it still must be termed music. You may hold strong opinions on
certain subjects, but you must not let your opinions constrew (correct spelling?) basic facts.
Case in point:  the fact that you do not consider D to be a member of the human race does
not alter the fact that he is a member of the human race, albeit a very crude member.  Let's
watch our statements from now on.

As for P, I thought I expressed my opinions of her in my last letter.  Frankly I haven't  figured
her out yet but I am very interested in continuing my extensive survey:  however, let me say
immediatley that she does not appear to be a very discernable individual.

All that I have said up to now has merely been idle conversation.  Now I will come to the meat
of the letter.

Tom!!!!!! How could you possibly in all honesty, integrity, sincerity, up righteousness, etc.
ad nauseum et ad infinitum, begin to prepare youself to consider, to anticipate the remote
possibility of even entertaining in the most inner recesses of your sub-conscious, the half-
hearted casual and instantaneous quasi-thought impulse of glancing thrice at a modern girl
who by her own insidious actions has shown that she publicly engages in, and is undoubtedly
addicted to, that insidious, repugnant, repulsive, and positively habit forming vice that I must
set the name of this abomination down and thus defile this innocent sheet of virgin paper
to (ugh!) chewing gum (ugh), (aah-goah--waaghaaga).