February 14, 1957

Addressed "No Dam University"

Dear Bob,

Your last letter was very interesting, and I'm glad to see you are doing so well.  I don't know all my marks yet, but I have a C+ in English and History.  Our marking system runs  A, B, C+, C -, D and E with five points for A and none for E.  I expect to get three other hook - pluses, which will give me a 3.0 average, not too bad, but it could be a lot better.

But let us turn from this discussion to the recounting of some of the incidents and lessons I experienced at the country's biggest, most famous, and wildest college weekend - - Winter Carnival.

I had a wonderful time.  It was really great having a girl up here;  after one's date leaves, the campus is never the same.  M. was fairly "snowed " by the place.

Friday evening I was very much out of it (Vodka and Collins mix 1 : 1 is a potent drink).  M. had only two drinks the whole time she was here (the prude).  I was, seriously, happy to see she doesn't let herself go when restrictions are removed from her.  ( I was? )  She lived up to my expectations of her rather well.

Besides providing me with a very enjoyable time, Carnival has made me an even more confirmed bachelor.  You may know that I intend to marry a girl that,  a) approaches  my idea of perfection, and  b) likes me.  Previous to Carnival I had considered M. the closest proximity to that non-existent person, but during Carnival I learned  a) she does not approach my idea of perfection  b) she doesn't like me.

Here are some of the things I noticed about her during that fabulous weekend.

She is very indiscreet.  At dinner with dozens of atheists, Jews, Masons, and Protestants around us, she crossed herself, said the prayer before the meal and crossed herself again.  I will not argue with you about the religious aspects of this action  (I respect her very much for her
religious convictions), but I think you will agree that such a thing is very indiscreet.  She could have just bowed her head and said the prayer.

Her feet get cold too fast (that is, when we're out walking).  Once her feet get cold, she becomes very obstinate and uncooperative (still while walking).

She gets tired too soon.  (By that I mean she doesn't like to travel a long distance.)

She's too emotional ( in her reasoning, that is).  To me she showed no emotion at all,  unless you call letting me massage her back a show of tender emotions!

In her letters, she shows a complete lack of understanding of men.  She just doesn't have the enthusiasm some girls have.

She likes to get her way and uses all crafts at her disposal to accomplish this.

She doesn't think.  She twice started to call me John (damn that name)!  Here's a sample of a typical conversation late in the evening after a busy day.

          I:     "Right now I'd like to be in my bed between the nice warm sheets".
                  (said very innocently by the way).

         She:  "That's where I'd like to be now too".

And of course, most important of all, she doesn't like me.  I don't have to give you any reasons for this statement, for I'm sure you know that when somebody doesn't like one, one can usually tell.

Despite all  these faults, just having a girl up here was wonderful, and I think it was well worth it.

I hope you will write soon, some night when you're not forced to go to a football rally.

I'll close this lengthy letter with these words of doom Q to QR4.

Tom